After a month of absence, I'm back on the blog sharing this post with you as promised! My reason for the absence was basically my first trimester which did not go too pleasantly for me.
Emotionally I was, and still am super happy that I'm pregnant, mentally I'm psyched! But physically, I was just having all the possible first trimester symptoms you can imagine- lethargy, nausea, headache, bloating, constipation, and many new discoveries every single day and symptoms that are unique to each day.
Seriously for the past month, all I could and wanted to focus on were to get up from bed, eat so that I won't be bloated and nauseous, and go back to sleep without vomitting everything I ate :(
Shall share in more detail in my next post on my first trimester! I'm now in my first week of second trimester (week 13), and I'm feeling much better. Hence, the ability to be productive, continue blogging and working on my first vlog ever on how we found out we're pregnant!! :)
I took SO, SO LONG to edit this cos I'm a tech noob like that. Video editing was my worst subject in uni. I slowly got the hang of it and managed to successfully complete my first vlog episode (after much trial and error. and googling)! So much planning and precision goes into editing a vlog episode, and I gotta give it to the amazing Youtubers who upload a vlog per week or so (like AndyMetSonia), a vlog every other day (like BubzVlogz), and the amazing ItsJudysLife who uploads an episode a day. CRAZY DEDICATION!
I hope to have this dedication too cos I actually enjoy documenting stuff in videos now (much thanks to Snapchat: @careentxy), and actually putting the vlog together for Youtube! I could get used to this.
Reason why I decided to document my pregnancy down not just on my blog but also in video form, is because I've personally been watching lotsa vlogs from the Youtubers mentioned above, and they make me really happy seeing how their babies are so adorable, as well as catching glimpses of how they run their day-to-day, and how they mother their children :)
More than that, I saw how precious it is that they actually documented every highlight of their lives from the start (Bubz from the time she dated Tim, her wedding, to now being a mum to the cutest Isaac!). It's really meaningful and though I do know I'm starting a little late, it's better than never! It could be something new for me documenting my pregnancy and journey in motherhood! My sisters who are huge Youtube vlog fans had been bugging me to start for the longest time, and when they found out that I finally decided to do this, they were so happy! They're probably gonna be my most loyal (and maybe only) supporters and viewers, but I don't mind. It's going to be a lot of fun :)
So, back to how we found out we're pregnant!
You'll most likely be able to get a good summary of the story on my vlog above, but because it's Youtube, I can't possibly be elaborating too much or else my video would have been an hour long (it already IS pretty long for a vlog! shorter ones next time, I promise!). So for the little details, I shall pen them down here on the blog. See, that's why I still love blogging after all these years. Writing is still my BEST way to express my feelings.
So here's the story:
Ok, wait. Just when I wanted to type, I forgot what we went to 1 Utama Shopping Centre for. So I asked the husby and he only remembered the part where we bought our pregnancy kit from Watsons. And he thinks we watched a movie...might be The Avengers. It freaked me out a little cos I can't possibly be forgetting the flow of that important day right??
THEN, I remembered. I actually managed to DAYRE everything down!!!
*tears of joy*
Thank God for Dayre!!! I forced myself to update even close to midnight that day cos it was a special day, and I didn't want to miss out or forget any detail at all (like how we both unbelievably did).
Here's the link to my Dayre post if you wanna read it!
24th of April 2015 (Friday)
It was a day I very much looked forward to cos Boon just came back from working outstation, and that Friday was supposed to be 'our day', full day of spending time with each other. Other than an interview I had with New Strait Times (NST) and Nuffnang that morning, we had lunch with his folks, and the husby surprised me with a brand new iPhone 6. Just in time before my iPhone 4S fully gave up on me :') You can read all the details on my Dayre post above.
Later that evening, we went to 1U to watch The Avengers! The husby got it right! Not bad ;) He also got me a brand new pair of Fitlflops cos my then Fitflops were 2 years old and looked like rotten veggies.
Before we had dinner, I told the husby to let's make a quick run to the pharmacy to get cotton buds. Walked along the shelves and I had a sudden instinct to maybe just buy a pregnancy test kit just to check. And to think about it, it had been a 10-day delay so no harm checking (my periods have never been on-point monthly. few days difference each month).
Casually chucked it into my shopping basket, paid up and went for dinner! Not many diners were still open at that time, so we ended up with TGI Fridays. I remember though I was super hungry by 10.30pm after we were done with the movie, I couldn't eat much. That was a surprise but I thought it was cos I was bloated. Been feeling bloated for the past week or so anyway. Never suspected anything. Thought period was coming so bloated, very normal.
Went home, casually unpacked our shopping bags, took the pregnancy test kit into the toilet along with a random container to pee into. Again, casually dipping two drops of pee into the stated spot, and went about doing my own thing. Came back a min later, and I saw this.
Wait, this does NOT look familiar.
What does a double line mean again?
Checked the packaging and rechecked again. Double line means POSITIVE? Does it mean I'm...pregnant??? Those were the exact words I had in my head. I was beginning to freak out (with joy) but I didn't want to get too excited yet for fear that it could be a faulty pregnancy test kit and I might disappoint myself.
So I went out into the living room, looked at Boon and he said, "Why? Not pregnant again ah?", cos I usually break that bad news to him after checking if I don't say a word.
Me: "You come in and see?"
He got excited. Jumped up immediately, quickly walked into the room, and I pointed him towards the pregnancy kit lying on my dresser, and said, "You see?"
He went quiet, wide eyed, and poking his index fingers together like a dungu hahahaha!!! He turned and looked at me and said, "Are you pregnant???", with a silly huge grin on his face. I said, "I don't knowww....from the test it says I am...?"
Boon: "You're pregnant!!! Wow..."
And then we hugged while laughing sillily. But I told him that I'm still not 100% sure if it's accurate, cos for all we know it could be a false alarm, and I really don't want to disappoint him or any of our family members if it's a really a false alarm. So I told him maybe we should get another more expensive pregnancy test kit to double confirm if we really are pregnant.
He got so restless when I told him that and told me that he wanted to call his elder sister, Jasmine. I said, "whhhhatt why????". It was late and nothing is actually confirmed. He said he wanted to ask if she happened to have a spare set of pregnancy test kit that we could borrow, and he would drive all the way to her house to get it. I said don't be silly we'll just wait until tomorrow. Then he was all jittery and asked if he should call his doctor friends to ask if double line really means positive. I said they'll definitely say it is laaaaa so no point asking!! Then he said he wanted to call one of his best friends, Joel to tell him. I was like, what, no! We should tell our families first!
It was so chaotic and it was a real rare sight to see him so restless, jittery, all over the place and flustered. I couldn't point out his exact emotions! He was overjoyed, excited, nervous, uncertain, anxious, everything all in one, while I was exceptionally calm and laughing at him, asking him to calm his tits hahaha!!
I've always imagined that I'll cry tears of joy the moment I found out I was pregnant, but I didn't. Partly due to the fact that I kept telling myself there still could be possibilities of a faulty pregnancy kit. But in my heart, I was 70% certain that I was indeed pregnant. All the lethargy and mood swings made sense after looking back at them. I was so down and emotional during that period of time that I wrote this blog entry (The Diary of a Traveller's Wife) and lamented our semi LDR, how it's taking a toll on me emotionally, and us not having enough time together to even try getting pregnant. Little did I know I WAS already pregnant!! Feeling so silly right now seriously :')
I was excited, but at the same time really calm and collected, feeling an indescribable peace and joy in my heart. It was really special :)
Him and his "chi-ko-pek" face hahaha!
But this dude was NOT calm. While I was in the shower, he kept yelling, "ahhhhhhhhhh" from the living room sporadically, and screaming, "Careen Tan, I heard you're pregnant!!!". I laughed and told him to calm his titties, and he said, "Noooo! My titties are not calm!!! They're not calm at all!! Ahhhhhhhhhh". My shower was constantly disturbed by his screams and more, "Careen Tan, are you pregnant???". That was unforgettable hahahah!!
After shower, I decided that I should video down all that happened so that was when I recorded my vlog. I looked seriously dressed down, bare faced, completely unglam and totally not ready for the Internet, but at that point I just didn't care. I was pregnant and I can't care less about anything anymore. Screw it if people think I look like crap. I'm pregnant, people!!! I was, at the same time too tired to go put on my contacts and get changed to a nicer outfit too. All I wanted was to be as real as I could to capture the moment, and for time to pass so that we could confirm this pregnancy!!!
Went to bed around 2am after lounging on the couch and daydreaming, passing time with the husby while he surfs 9gag, trying to calm himself down.
25th of April 2015 (Saturday)
I had a pretty good, deep sleep cos I was super tired, but he did not. At all hahaha!! He said he couldn't fall asleep cos he was just way too excited, and woke up at 6am and 8am, and decided to just get up and wait for time to pass and for the pharmacy to be open.
I slept until the husby said he's going out to get the pregnancy kit soon. Came back with a new, more expensive set, I tested it and there it was...
...another double-line (right).
It means I really AM pregnant?? :')
The husby then spent the entire morning searching up gynaes and female clinics to set up an appointment for check up, called up multiple clinics and hospitals but to no avail cos the popular ones are usually fully booked in advance, no slots for last min walk-ins. Until we managed to secure one at SS15, Subang! We didn't mind anywhere as long as we could do an ultrasound scan and confirm that I really, really am pregnant.
Read online that though with indications of being positive on the kit, it could still turn out to be a false alarm cos I might have eaten supplements that contain pregnancy hormones. As far as I remembered, I never had any of those, but safest to confirm with a doctor before we announce the news to anyone.
Quickly got ready, went to the clinic for a check (as per the vlog), and confirmed that I was the 5 weeks pregnant :') The feeling of hearing it from the doctor and seeing my tiny little baby in my womb was indescribable. It was beyond overjoy. It was so much more. My heart was so blessed and full. It felt surreal that I felt a little dizzy :')
Went to my favourite place, Nutmeg to have lunch, and we got a beautiful little unisex gift for our Little One to commemorate the day we discovered him/her. It was an expensive zebra soft toy (more than a hundred bucks) but we felt it was worth it. Cannot wait to give it to our child when he/she is out!
We then broke the news to our families. It fuelled our excitement even more because now there are more people sharing our happiness and joy! All their reactions to the good news were individually unique and heart-warming. I'm grateful to give this good news to our families and make them so happy. A little life can make so many people happy :')
Boon had to leave for work outstation that very day, which explained why we were in such urgency to confirm the pregnancy. We wanted to do it together, and the next time we could would be two weeks down the road, and it would be such a pain to wait that long (Boon's tits would be burnt by then).
It was so hard for us to part that day cos we just found out about the baby. Boon said he seriously didn't feel like driving back to work. All he could think about was the good news and couldn't wipe that silly grin off his face haha!
It was a miraculous day for us. So super happy.
So, that's how we found out we're pregnant! :)
Will be sharing my first trimester experiences with you guys soon.
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Prepping for my next post soon.