This is one blog post that I've been dreaming to write.
Having read so many announcement blog posts before, I had always wondered how I'll one day write mine. When will I get to write mine? Will I ever get to write mine?
For those of you who have been following my blog and social media would know that Boon and I love children, and have been planning on growing a family of our own. My motherly instincts/desire became so strong, that I dreamed about being pregnant multiple times last year. A friend told me that she also had these weird preggers dreams a few months before she got pregnant, so it could be a sign! I was excited about what she told me and kept that in my heart.
We told ourselves that we will try this year, and every single month before my period even arrives, the overly excited me would buy the most expensive pregnancy test kits to test if we managed to hit the jackpot. For the past months, I spent hundreds on pregnancy kits that got thrown into the bin again and again, and I started feeling restless and discouraged. I got so affected that in February, I totally would cry at the possibility of infertility and whenever I come across baby photos online. I grew impatient, and though we only "tried" for two months or so, I was already getting anxious and freaking out a little. For those of you who are already parents would probably be laughing at my silliness, because it takes months and sometimes years to get pregnant. It varies for different couples and despite having been reminding myself that, I still felt that maybe I have a problem, that maybe we should get checked.
February was my breaking point, I remember one night crying myself to sleep with Boon hugging me from behind, whispering a prayer in my ear, proclaiming that we will get a baby in His timing. After that, I felt a sense of peace and finally surrendered to God, that He WILL give us a baby, in His perfect time.
The month of March arrived and work started to pile like crazy. Open doors and opportunities that left me no time to be emotional about things. March was also when Boon was stationed in JB for a month for work, so we told ourselves that we will work hard on our careers til we see each other again.
Out of my busy schedule in March, I set aside one week to travel to JB to spend time with Boon. I was pretty quiet about it on social media (except Dayre and Snapchat) because I really wanted it to be a private and restful trip. Little did we know that it was going to be one trip that changes everything.
And today, it feels so, so surreal that I'm actually going to announce that...
I'M PREGNANT! :')
Say hi to our little baby, whom we're currently calling Little Bean Bean cos he/she is now a size of a bean, standing tall at 1.23cm as of our scan yesterday!
Little Bean Bean is now 7 and a half weeks old, close to two months now! *claps* Estimated due date to be 19-25th December 2015!! I'm definitely gonna be spending Christmas either looking like a whale and anticipating baby's pop, pushing a baby outta my body or confinement at home. Yayyy exciting :')
Through this, I have learned to put my trust in my Creator once again, in a whole new way. I learned once again that all things beautiful happen in His perfect timing, that His ways and thoughts are higher than ours. Now I do seem silly for worrying so much, when He has everything planned out and under control :')
This was a random shot taken two days ago on Sunday, my first Mother's Day! No presents nor hugs and kisses from the baby, but I was completely happy, secretly celebrating being a mum. Not sure if it's baby bump, fats or a full bladder, but yeah I'm beginning to have a bigger tummy now!
I'm itching to see my tummy grow bigger everyday, but it's not really that obvious yet. It's been an exciting two weeks since we found out about The Bean! I've so, so, so much to share about my journey so far, which is impossible to put everything into one blog post alone, so I shall separate them into a few posts!
It's been really tiring, as most mothers would experience in the first trimester. That explains the lack of updates on the blog and social media too. I tried my best to remain active as much as I can, but 99% of the time I'm feeling tired, hungry, nauseous and tired, so I'm sleeping and eating small meals a lot these days. Totally feeling like a legit pig :')
I know some of you must be wondering why I'm announcing even before hitting 3 months, because that's what most couples do or are advised to do, to announce only when the pregnancy is more stable.
Well, I have a few reasons as to why I'm announcing now.
Firstly, I don't believe in superstitions and I'm not afraid of jinxing anything. I believe in a God that is bigger and greater than any superstitions. It's a happy news that is worth celebrating. I have a new life inside of me, and I cannot wait to tell the whole world about this miracle!
Second, even if anything goes wrong, that will be a part of my life that I'm not going to hide or deny. I will be open about it and share it on my blog like how I always do. I'd rather go through life's ups and downs with you guys than to cope alone. Whatever happens, you guys will know anyhow. So why wait any longer. It's going to be the same, to me.
Thirdly, I do want to include you guys on my pregnancy journey as early as I can! I'm experiencing changes to my body every single day and it's been a pain not being able to tweet, FB, Snapchat, Dayre and blog about them! It's only two months into being a mother to this Little Bean and it's already been exciting. So much feelings and emotions that I cannot wait to pour out on my blog.
Last but not the least, my sisters have been asking me every single day when I'm going to announce publicly because they cannot wait to tell all their friends that they're now some of the youngest aunties in the world!! Evangeline is now an 8 year old auntie :') We're all asking her to eat more if not the baby will outgrow her very soon :')
I've been oh-so-happy for the past few weeks. Going through a lot of physical changes and discomfort, but I'm feeling a joy that I've never felt before. Ever since I found out I'm pregnant, I stopped feeling alone, even when I'm driving, sleeping, or walking alone. I don't feel lonely anymore. I know that I have baby with me and he/she is now my companion. It's something I never thought I would feel. That, and many other new feelings pregnancy gives that I cannot wait to share with you guys!! I know I'll be discovering new things everyday and I'm ready to embrace every single one of em.
As for Boon, well, simply put, he's been over the moon. He's been catching himself smiling ear-to-ear for no particular reason, stepping into baby shops on auto-pilot mode, and going online to search for baby clothes (lol!). He's been a really cute, new daddy who's been super supportive and loving. I'm feeling so happy, loved and blessed currently.
Our families and close friends have been sharing our joy and excitement, which makes it all even more fun! Now that you guys know already, it's gonna get even better!
Will dedicate a full post on how we found out we're pregnant soon! Thank you guys for being such a big part of my life, that I cannot wait to tell you guys so badly! From now on, there are no more secrets! Brace yourselves for preggers posts coming your way :P
Okay, tired and hungry already.