That has got to be the most straightforward blog title I've ever had.
Kids, in life, you get thrown a few standard questions.
Stage 1: "When are you graduating?"
Stage 2: "When are you getting attached?"
Stage 3: "When are you getting married?"
Stage 4: "When are you getting pregnant?" (!!!)
Yours truly, my friends, have successfully survived the first three stages, and have now arrived at the Stage 4. Many find these questions annoying, and some, intrusive. But I don't. I think they're essentially conversation starters for awkward situations such as meeting friends you haven't seen in ages and relatives who don't know what else to talk about during Chinese New Year. Don't judge, because I'm sure we ALL have committed this annoying act at least once in our lives when caught in awkward situations ;)
I've been pretty 'chill' about it, and have learned to developed standard answers to these standard questions. Ever since the day we got married (yes, even on the very day that we got married. heck, even before we got married!), we have mastered the art of smiling a standard smile while answering, "2-3 years" to the Stage 4 questions thrown at us uncontrollably, uncountably by almost anybody we meet. Strangers included.
Boon and I, we both have always LOVED kids. Unlike some people who only love cute little babies and start hating them once they start running around, we love kids from newborn to school kids. Because children in general are just so cute and precious.
The husby had always been a children magnet. They love playing with him, fooling around, climbing all over him and just be crazy with him. I think that's cos he still behaves like one so....
Since we started going out like, 9 years ago, he's been loved by all my sisters, especially the little ones. He's practically seen Melody grow from a newborn all the way until now (she's now aged 11). I've seen how he'd pick them up and play with them in his own world on his own accord. Not to impress me, but genuinely wanting to play with them as a big bro. Never have I ever doubted that he loves children and will one day be a great daddy/buddy to our future kids.
So you must be wondering,
"Why wait 2-3 years? Since you both love kids and are ready, why not now?"
I never thought that I'll be saying this, this soon but,
It's very tempting to have babies now!!!
OMG you have no idea how we're both obsessed with kids wherever we go. Weekends at the malls, wedding dinners, church services, vacations anywhere, all we see and focus on are BABIES!!!
I don't know if it's because there really are so many babies populating in the world these days, or we're just particularly sensitive to these tiny human beings, but we see them everywhere and it drives us crazy! We'll literally stop and stare at babies with no shame. Don't care if their parents mind or not...who asked their babies to be so cute!
These days when we go vacations, we look at babies as much as we look at sceneries. Babies in Sydney/Melbourne are all just so cuteeeee. They're super independent and will just roam around behind their parents, while babies in Japan are super chubby with rosy cheeks! They're the most well-behaved kids we've ever come across. Their parents can just place them on the table while they fill up forms at the customs, and they won't move a single bit. Plus, it really didn't help that there were all wrapped up in puffy winter wear during our visit last December. So much eye-candy in Japannnnn (kids btw).
Cute angmoh x Japanese baby spotted at Osaka.
Okay back to the question. Why 2-3 years?
We thought long and hard about how ready we are to start having babies.
If we really happen to have a baby now, would we have a difficult time and get caught off-guard and panic and start getting all stressed out? The answer is, no. We're married, we're financially pretty okay, and everyone around us expects us to have a baby anyway so they'll be super happy about it. We, ourselves would be super happy about it too! The whole world will rejoice and we'll have all the blessings we could need.
Why we wait, or rather, why I want to wait for another 2-3 years is because...I'm still young. I just turned 24 in November last year. Yes, there are many young mothers who never regretted having kids as young as at 22 or 23. My grandma had her first child at 20, and my mum had me at 21. I know what a joy it is to be a young mom and I'm sure I won't regret having a kid this young too!
But, at the same time, I have aspirations of my own. I want to be the best mum that I can for my children. I want to be able to give my fullest attention and focus to nurture them and watch them grow, never missing a moment. That's ideal and highly not achievable in our society these days cos the standard of living ain't getting lower and it takes both husband and wife to work in order to make ends meet.
For now, my career has just started to take off. I know I can still blog and emcee when I'm pregnant and even when I have 3-4 kids hahahaha. I'm thinking more of my business. I want to see Chiq Fliq grow to be stable and running independently. I want to have a staff team who would be able to manage it while I focus on my family. Having a baby now means goodbye to my business because I know that I would want to focus fully on my pregnancy and baby.
We also want to do some more travelling before the baby arrives. We have so many more places on our bucket list!! Our advantage is that time is on our side and we can still afford a few more years before we NEED to have baby now now now. I really wanna be ready mentally, emotionally and physically (feeding my womb to be strong and healthy with loads of birds nest and good stuff hahaha) before I conceive.
Hearing and seeing so many miscarriages around me really scares me. I know these things are out of our control sometimes, but as much as possible, I want to know what to eat, what not to eat, what to do and what to avoid to prevent such things from happening to me. Right now, I know close to zero about pregnancy. I have so much to learn! I want to know what I'm doing so that I can give my best shot for my baby in the 9 months that I'm carrying him/her/them (OMG I want twins!).
There you have it. My honest answer on why I choose to wait. I want to give birth to all my kids (preferably 3-4) before I hit 35 so let's see. Maybe my plan of waiting will be cancelled. Hahaha!
Well, those were my mind's rationale. But many a times, my heart tells me otherwise. At times (more and more these days), I find my ovaries calling out to me (if that even makes sense hahahahah!). You know, you know when you ovaries are calling out to you when your favourite movie is What To Expect When You're Expecting, and all you ever talk about during wedding dinners are contractions, which gynae to go for and whether it is advisable to use epidural. Yes, I'm aware that I'm rebelling against my motherly instincts by choosing to wait, even though all my being cries out to me to make babies now.
And today, my sisters showed me this.
I guess it'll be my new favourite thing to watch from now! Thanks for the distraction, sissies! :/
While watching that (only 1 episode btw), my heart felt so warm and fuzzy and all I wanted was to have those moments ASAP. Motherly instincts calling out to me!! Ahhhhhhhh!
Some parents told me to get pregnant while I'm young cos I definitely will not regret it. Career and money can wait but my biological clock cannot (True. I'm well-aware of all these), while some told me to wait and travel all I can before I start having babies, because then, I would be locked down for a good 10-15 years before I have my freedom again (True. Also well-aware of that).
Well, I guess we'll see if my motherly instincts get the better of me. I have a feeling it'll be sooner than 2-3 years before I started posting my 'announcement' on Instagram. But we'll see :)
So yes, a piece of my life laid out bluntly to ya. Dilemmas in life.
Well, time to sleep! Til' then!