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Sunday, October 6, 2013

Much-dreaded Day

This is it. 
The night that I've been dreading to come for the past few months is finally here. 

For those of you who have been following, you'd know that Boon travels for work frequently, and goes offshore pretty often for the past 5 years now. In the past without 3G and Whatsapp, we could only e-mail each other as our only means of communication. But now, we can Whatsapp, and maybe even FaceTime. Thank God for technology! But I'm glad we experienced some of those ulu painfully-anticipating-email days :)

Ever since the wedding, he's been tied to a project just outstation, and travels back home every single weekend without fail. Sometimes I'll follow him, and even if I didn't, it wasn't still that bad as it was just 4 days of being away from each other, and he's back for the weekend. Fridays have been my favourite day of the week, and Sunday evenings the least.

Been dreading this day so badly that I cried every night before I slept last week, though he was only away in Kuantan for erm, 3 days.

This is the first time since we got married that he goes offshore for a month. Or less. Or more. We don't know. It depends. This uncertainty really sucks. We don't even have a date to countdown to T-T

Just got home after dropping husby at the station. We sat in the car for as long as we could, just reassuring each other that we will be alright, and that we have many vacations awaiting us and much to look forward to when he's back. He kept telling me that if anything happens, I can call on his reliable buddies Joel, KL and Patty and they'll come to rescue me. Let's hope I don't need any rescuing, but thanks guys for being there :)

As much as we tried putting up a strong, smiley front, our eyes gave ourselves away. His were teary (very very rare. he didn't even tear one bit watching About Time which is totally unacceptable), and mine were tears on a free fall. We've been through this scene many times before in the past, but this time it's just so different. Because we're now married.

He said he's gonna miss waking up seeing my sleeping face (yes, I rarely get to see his sleeping face. I only wake up next to his pillow cos he wakes us at painfully early hours even when he doesn't need to), and smelling my smelly bed breath (which is plain ridiculous I smell good all the time).

Well husby, I'm gonna miss falling asleep with you, hearing your snore (he falls asleep within 60 secs), sitting at the passenger's seat with my legs folded like a boss, looking to my right from my work station and see you at your laptop, going to church together with you, cuddles before bed time, your firm hugs, your fat, sausage fingers that are so comfy to hold (hahaha), you passing me my wedding rings to wear every time before we go out, walking into our condo from the carpark together (where he would never let me carry anything else besides the keycard and our house keys, no matter how many things or however heavy they may be). These are just some of the many things I can think of on top of my clouded mind.

Cried all the way from KL Sentral back home. Just couldn't hold myself in. How can I not miss someone like him?

For the past few months, before he leaves he would always make sure that my car petrol is full tank knowing that I'm scared to visit the petrol station alone. I never have to pump my own petrol. So as usual, he insisted to pump the petrol for me before he leaves. But this time, it could only last me a week and I'll have to pump them myself for the following 3-4 weeks. 

He pumped air into the tyres though they were still full of air. He even wanted to buy our laundry detergent so that I don't have to worry about going out to get them, which I insisted that he let me perform my wifely duty. Hahaha also because we didn't have the time today.

He ran through all the things that I need to do for my business and blog for the coming weeks together with me, and even wanted to list them down for me in case they slip off my mind.

He gave me an allowance to make sure that I have money to eat and spend for a month, which is enough for a week's worth of shopping trip to Bangkok and back.

I just can't express how touched I am by all of his gestures. That he would always try to do his best to lift my burdens no matter how little they may be. I'm beyond grateful to have a husby like you. You're just so amazing I don't even know how such a good person like you can exist in this world. How to not miss you? Tell me.

Got this while I was driving. Cries even harder.

Reached home, turned on my laptop, and this song immediately played on its own. I think it's cos I played it before we went out this morning. But yes, it didn't help my tears free fallin'.

Favourite song of the moment. And will be for a very long time.

After watching About Time, both of our perspective on life and love changed. Everyone should watch it.

Boon's version:
"How long will I love you? Until the stars are under my feet."

I'm still trying to figure out what that means. 
Guess there's a reason why he's an engineer not a songwriter :P

Anyway, some of you LDR people might probably be laughing at us right now. So much drama for just a month of separation. Hahaha. It's been a while since we were apart from each other for this long. We knew we wouldn't like this coming, but we didn't know it would be THAT difficult for us. But, I guess it's a good thing?

With the social media being such a public space these days, whatever we update can irritate and annoy people so easily. So the best way to express all of these feelings would be on none other than my own space right here. Blogging allows me to express words that I couldn't utter, not when I was trying to hold back my tears the entire time just now (but failed badly).

I'm just so proud to have such a capable and successful husband, who is so good at what he does, and skilled for his industry. Thanks for always working so hard to build this home, and fulfil our dreams of travelling the world together. We'll be ticking off two of our to-go destinations in the next two months! Made possible by Him and you. I don't have to worry about a thing...except to plan where to visit and what to wear each day we're there. OMG I sound so useful.

Thanks for taking care of me down to the very minute details, like buying laundry detergent before you leave (as if it's life and death). And helping me list down my to-do-list (as if your work isn't complicated enough).

If I were my parents, I'd be so proud and relieved to have a son in-law like you. Everyone should be grateful to have someone like you in their lives because you're just too amazing.

Husby, while we're apart, let's look forward to THESE!

Ahhhhhhh happy feet!

Den Den Town!

It's gonna be a fruitful one month for the both of us individually. 
After that, it's VACAY TIME!

Missing you loads, husby. Love you.
See you in a month :)

love, your wife.

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