Tuesday, December 4, 2012

What's in the First Month of Marriage?

Unbelievable. 
You mean we've been married for a month already??

It feels like just yesterday that we gathered in church 2 days before the wedding to have our wedding rehearsal. Dated: Nov 1, 2012.

Yes, there is wedding rehearsal in my church to make sure that the couple and the bridal party know exactly what to do, where to stand, how fast to walk, and coordinate with the live band, music, etc. I'd say it really helps to calm the nerves on the actual day, knowing what needs to be done and lessen the chances of having awkward mistakes.


Daddy and I rehearsing our walk down the wedding aisle (our imaginary red carpet hehe).

Could take that opportunity to "break" my heels too! Break as in soften and condition the heels so that it wouldn't hurt as bad on the actual day.


Our dedicated violinists who played live for our bridal march. They were all my friends, and were so professional though we were close. They took their tasks really seriously, and made on-the-spot changes to how we preferred. Amazing musicians :) 

And of course, that's Wei Jean at the back making sure she knows just when to play the track when we march out as husband and wife! She was there the whole evening just for that one part. Isn't she just wonderful? :) 

Not forgetting the sound crew who made himself available at the very last minute to set up the sound system for our rehearsal. CHCKL is just full of amazingly dedicated people. So grateful :')


Photo taken by our wedding guest, stolen from Instagram.

Very quickly, the very day that we've been planning for a whole year has finally come. The day when we officially declared our love and commitment to each other in front of all the people who mattered to us, and pledged our lives together henceforth. It was a beautiful day :) Dated: Nov 3, 2012.

When they say that your wedding day passes by real quickly, it is TRUE! Knowing that, I told myself to fully cherish and savor every moment of the day. Though extremely tiring, but I was enjoying every single moment, and every single facial muscle ache (all the bridal smiles hehe).


Before we knew it, it was our wedding dinner reception! Both of us decided to let our hair down, forget about any glitches that could potentially happen, and just eat (I ate more than I expected. Food was too good I couldn't care less about maintaining my bridal poise. Not so demure afterall hahah), drink and just have fun with our guests! At the end of the day, we just wanted to be married to each other. As long as nobody stands in our way on that day (and the rest of our days, amen), we would be happy people. 

Any other small glitches that many deem as something serious meant nothing to us. 
As long as we had each other.

P/S: I pinky pwomise that I will blog about my wedding day soon! Waiting for the photos from my official photographer. Wanna do up a thorough post complete with photos to describe the moments. Will do so right after I get hold of all the pictures! :)


2 days after our wedding, we flew off for our Honeymoon, baybeh!

Spent a week in beautiful Bali, took our revenge on food and attacked all the pork we could find :D 
Balinese cuisine rawks.


Not forgetting the breathtaking sceneries of Bali. We had so much fun that it really saddened us to leave that beautiful island. Will blog about the trip in detail, where to go to hunt for food and where to visit soon! :)

As for yesterday, we've been married for one month.
I guess it's really true when they say that time flies when you're having a good time :)

Within this one month, aside from people asking, "How was your honeymoonnnnn???" with a slight smirk and hamsap look on their faces, we've had many friends asking us about how married life has been.

Some asked in a sincere and interested manner, while some asked with a skeptical tone, sort of anticipating for a sad and disappointed reply saying that marriage has been tough and that I'd warn them NOT to get married so young! Okay a bit dramatic, but some people really do think that the honeymoon stops at, well, the honeymoon.


I'd normally pause and think before I reply to that question, as I, myself would love to truly think it through instead of immediately giving a standard answer of, "Ohhhh, marriage is perfect. It's beautiful!". It's good that I occasionally evaluate it myself too.

The easiest way to evaluate is of course, stating the good and the bad, the pros and cons.

The amazing stuff about being married:

#1: You both get to see each other everyday.

Before this, we had to always specially plan to meet and spend time with each others amidst our busy schedule. Sometimes, we would even yumcha til late and sacrifice our sleep just to spend time with each other, and then suffer panda eyes while Boon has "fishing activities" in the office. Don't get me wrong. We enjoyed it, and it's fun and special to make plans just to spend time. It's sweet.

But now that we live under the same roof, we know that no matter how busy a day may be, we would be returning to the same home, and into each other's arms by the end of the day. It's a really nice feeling...knowing that your other half is waiting for you to come home every night. To a place only you both share. I really enjoy this new change :)

Of course, if you have already cohibitated or lived together before you get married, this wouldn't be a new thing in your marriage. This is also one of the reasons why we never lived together, or even stayed over night before this. Because we believe that we create our own magic. We wanted to reserve this freshness only in our marriage. And I'm glad we made that decision :) 


#2: You save lots of time + money

Okay, I know this doesn't sound too romantic. But let's be real and look at it realistically. Previously for the past 8 years, Boon who lived in PJ had to go to USJ to pick me to wherever we headed towards next. 

Sometimes when we decide to paktoh in PJ, he had to travel from PJ - USJ - PJ - USJ (to send me home) - PJ (to go home). This is still okay if it's at odd timings or weekends, but if we meet the rush hours (you know how USJ traffic is like), Boon sometimes spends 2-3 hours on the road just because we live apart.

But now that we live together, we go everywhere together (unless we have our separate appointments). There's no need to send me home at night anymore (yayyy no curfew and angry daddy :P), and that also means petrol consumption and expenses have been cut by half!

Previously when we wanted to spend time together, our choices were pretty limited to just yumcha, movie, shopping...all of which required $$$. This is not a date that I'm talking about, but merely an excuse to spend time with each other, simply because we had no where else to go.

But now, there's no need to go somewhere just to "spend time" with each other. There are so many other ways that we can spend time with each other now. And the best part is, money is not necessarily needed for us to spend time together now. Watching the AMA's together at home, or movie night on our cozy couch is enough to make us happy and contented :)


#3: You...settle down.

Many people asked me WHY I want to get married this young, at 22. This topic could be a full blog post if I really wanna go into it. Probably another time. But really, when you're married, life comes to a more stable routine.

I, now, wake up in the morning (like, earlyyyyyy), send my husby to work, come home, sleep some more sometimes (like, only 99% of the time...), have breakkie, and work on my blog posts, online boutique, and tonnes of other work. In between work, as a wife (a young, cute wife. This word needs to be redefined *defensive*), I make sure that laundry is done so that my husband has clothes to wear to work, dishes are done so that we won't have uninvited "guests" living in our home, and the floor is clean so that my husband won't catch a flu. And then, I pick my husband up from work and we go party like it's 2012. 

Kidding.

Everyday is pretty much the same. House chores needed to be done by either of us (although he seems to be much more interested and have more initiative than me *gulps*), and we can't just sulk like babies and not wake up early anymore (though sometimes I still do sulk when I wake up at freakingggg 7am!!!).

But I've come to realize and accept that this is actually good. Good for us. Good for me too (the waking up early part). I'm really not a structured person, but a little bit of order in life is good :) 


#4: You love (even) more.

In the security of a marriage, you know for sure that the both of you are committed to each other.This gives you the peace and assurance to love even greater, and to give to each other even more freely, with no reservations.

Previously when we were still in courtship, I wouldn't deny the love we had for each other. But we were still not married. There were certain things that we did not do, boundaries we did not cross. No matter how much you love, you can't fully give your 101% to the other. You shouldn't anyway, because nothing's for sure...yet. 

Of course you might say that the one you married might cheat and leave you the same, etc, but I'm all about faith and trust so I don't even wanna bother worrying and being anxious about my husband cheating. So, let's not get there ;)

But now, you know that he/she's the one, and nothing's gonna change that. He or she's the only one you got, and the only one you're gonna have. All the love that you stored up for the best, you finally give it ALL. I'm not saying that this is definite for everybody, and I'm not implying that everyone ought to adopt the same values and beliefs. Just sharing my view and story, and that it worked for us :)


Having stated all the good stuff about marriage, there are also the not-so-happy stuff too. Aside from disagreements that any couple would have as long as they're alive and normal, there's an evident thing that might irk most newlyweds:

HABITS.

Probably because we've been dating for 8 years, I've already seen most of his habits and accepted most of them. But when you're living together, we discover a whole lot of stuff you didn't know before.

For me, what I discovered was not really bad, but it's definitely shocking.

Discovery: He is actually a super hygienic and clean person. 

Which is awesome! I mean, the last thing I want is to live with a messy, smelly and dirty fella all my life! So, this is great news!

But the part that could be a bit hard to get used to, is the fact that......

........he's cleaner and tidier than me. Like, way cleaner and tidier than me.

He brought the word cleanliness to a whole new level.

I may sound dramatic but here are some examples:

#1: 
He will NEVER leave any rubbish stay overnight in the kitchen rubbish bin. I could live with that as long as it doesn't stink and "uninvited guests" don't come around. I will throw the rubbish....when the bin is filled or at least half-filled. But he'll just throw JUST IN CASE they start to stink, even if the bin is 1/10 filled.

#2:
He will ALWAYS remove hair in the bathroom drainage trap every single time he uses the bathroom! I mean, us girls would know that this is a never ending business. Our hair falls are extreme and super regular, so removing all the hair from the drainage every time is just...troublesome. Plus, seeing your hair at the drainage is just discouraging. Reminding us that we are getting old (though I have no idea if it's related. But it's just jot a pleasant sight). I could live with removing them a few times in a week...when the trap is blocking the water from flowing :P

Okay I think all of you will stop reading my blog after knowing I'm actually so disgusting. If ever you decide to stop reading this disgusting blog, always remember that your presence here has made a great impact in my life and that I'll miss you :(

There are many other examples but I better stop before all of you decide to unfollow me on Twitter and unfriend me on Facebook too. 

So yeah, you get my point. He's just this super tidy, disciplined, orderly, upright, hardworking, motivated and  almost perfect human being while I'm this sleepy, hungry, free flow, creative, crazy, not-everyday-also-this-hardworking girl. We're just really different, but I can assure you that you'll have more fun with me! ;) *kiasu*

Anyways, what I meant to say is that in this one month, there have been plenty of adjustments to be made in both our lives. Some adjustments could be not so easy to get used to (like waking up early, and probably for Boon, living with a piggg). But we're actually having fun making these adjustments, and going through the blunders of buying overpriced veggie and household items at the wrong places.

We've already prepared ourselves way ahead that marriage will not be a bed of roses. Still, we're enjoying every ups and downs, and no, I still will not tell you to not get married young. It's the best decision I have ever made :)


As long as we have Him in the center, as the shelter for the both of us, 
we'll be living under open heaven. 

Here's a reset to our counter:

"Happy 1st Monthsary...all over again :)
I'm the happiest and luckiest girl alive everyday. Thanks for loving me so selflessly. 
Here's to many more monthsaries to come! I love you, husby :)"


love, careen

10 comments:

  1. :) So Happy for you babe! Love, Miki xoxo

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  2. Congratulations Careen!

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  3. :)may you have even better days ahead! u've put young marriage in a new (cool, awesome, fun) light..

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    1. Awww...thank you so much! Thanks for reading :)

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  4. Congratulation Careen!
    I'm so surprised that you are attached!!! I thought the header pic is your photoshoot's pic.
    Anyway, I feel so sweet when I read this post, can even feel your happiness! hehe...
    Best wishes!!! <3

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    1. Hahaha yeah I'm attached...and married :P Thanks Japhne!

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  5. Congratulations Careen! As a reader I'm so happy for your marriage!!! Nahh I won't unfollow you on facebook on twitter hahaha

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    1. Hi babe! Hahaha thanks for not unfollowing ;) And thanks for the comment! <3

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