GA Script

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Girlfriend Allowance

"So how much does your boyfriend give you every month?
"Uh, no he doesn't give me a monthly allowance.
"But you guys look so happy together.
*???* "Say what???!

Oh, how I get that question posted to me all the time, followed by the surprise on their part when I revealed the ultimate truth that NO, I don't take a monthly (nor weekly, daily, not annually, even!) allowance.

You must be thinking *tsk tsk* bad boyfriend. But honestly, is it normal? To receive a fixed (and gradually increasing) allowance from your boyfriend?

That idea has never come across my mind. Not even when I was a poor little school girl (am still a school girl just not that poor anymore), neither when I'm actually broke to ask/hint for an allowance from the bf. Never before in these 7 years of relationship.

Sure, many a times he would offer to buy me stuff or give me a certain amount to get the things I've been eyeing on. But that's occasional!

I really don't see why I should get an allowance from the bf, when I don't even take an allowance from my own parents. He's working, and so am I. Although our income has a vast difference seeing that I'm only a part-time, freelance model, but I can survive on my own income and I really don't see why I should be receiving an allowance.

Of course, when we're out on our dates, he pays for meals and movies 95% of the time. But I do, during the 5% of the time offer to pay for our dates. I think it's kinda fun! And it's OUR relationship...I figured it'd be nice to share the financial load if I can sometimes.

I know many girls who expect their bfs to pay for EVERYTHING including their own makeup, clothes, bags, shoes, food, movies, pad, contact lens, etc etc. And honestly, unless your bf really is very well-to-do, you'd be putting damn a lot of pressure on him, and his pocket!

Imagine he's still a poor secondary school kid, a uni student or just a fresh grad. HOW do you expect him to pay for all your stuff and rear you? It'll ultimately be his parents' money so indirectly his parents are rearing you.

Listen, I'm not a feminist. Never regarded myself as one. I believe and fall for chivalry, and I admit that guys are really important in our lives.

But this is one aspect that I cannot tolerate: Girls who use the excuse- "Because I'm a girl, and you're a guy, so you pay." or simply, "Because I'm your gf."

I believe that girls should be feminine, graceful, gentle, and so on...but I also believe that we are strong, capable of generating income and independent of men (and their money!).

We're created to be a "helper", not add stress & pressure to guys and shorten their lifespan.

So girls, please don't make guys think that every girl is like that. The fact is far from that. I, for one, derive pleasure from knowing that I'm saving my bf a hell of amount of money, and for the fact that hey, I can support myself with ease and buy whatever I want with MY OWN money ;)

Confident & independent girls are sexy. Just ask Neyo.

***

Disclaimer #1: I know many friends who receive monthly allowances from their bfs who love them with all their hearts. That's fine, I truly accept and feel happy for them. But I just don't CONDONE and I don't believe that it's absolute for every relationship.

Disclaimer #2: That does not mean that guys can now throw the bills at me! Hahaha I love gentlemen, it's a plus plus plus point! But when I dine out with guys friends, I'd expect to separate the bill and 'Go Dutch'. It'd be nice if they offer to pay for the meal once in a while (every single time? hmmm that'd be creepy...), but giving me the tab is......

.........not nice. It only shows your level of generosity and what a real gentleman you are. I will still be your friend of course, it's just that I won't recommend any of my girlfriends to ya ;)
*ahem*

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Happy times. During our "work" lunch break at KLCC :)

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Kinokuniya serves nice sandwiches!

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Bf and I during the Super GT Queen Search Finals 2011, where I emceed but that's another backdated blog post altogether :P

My point is this. I am happy in this relationship not because he gives me money or pays for my shopping. Neither is he happy in this relationship because I don't expect him to pay for me and pay me! hahah

We're both happy purely because we love each other, and love being with each other. Period.

So yes, the secret to 7 years of loving relationship?
I don't really know the secrets, but I'm definite that it's not about the $$$.


P/s: Boyfriends, be glad I wrote this. Hahah!


love, careen.

18 comments:

  1. huhhh?? i've NEVER heard of bfs giving allowance to gfs!!! since when did that even existed?!?! am i a bit out dated with how others are in a relationship or what? and yesss i totally agree on your whole post :p

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  2. Well post! Don't ever use money to measure your relationship, and don't let the money come in between you and your bf. I thought this gf allowance thingie no longer exist? I heard it long ago from my friend *faint*
    p/s: I love my bf, and I do take care of his wallet. :P

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  3. Nice one! Spread to all the 'gfs'! HAha.

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  4. May i know what brand of color lens that you wore??make your eye look even more sexy~~:)

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  5. Thanks guys for all your comments and feedbacks! My blog feels alive again! Read and appreciate all your thoughts & comments :)

    [Annonymous] I'm using Fresh Look in Grey :) Thanks for ur compliment!

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  6. After looking at your post... i feel ashamed of myself.. I don't know that a bf is often required to give an allowance for the gf(on public views). My bf not only does not give me any allowance, most of the time we are on a 50/50 rule when we hang out together. Sometimes, Im the one paying more cuz I'm working part time and he doesn't.
    He didn't see my good quality of not minding him not paying all the expenses most of time, yet sometimes he give me hints to buy him things somemore....
    now that he broke up with me(cuz he thinks im not good enough to him) and I feel so bad of myself.. why doesn't he appreciates me and see the good point of me... I'm dare to say think not much girls are like me(or you, in this case, so understanding and didnt expect ur bf to support u)
    so sad....

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  7. In my so many years of relationship O_O i have also not heard of a "gf allowance" ... O_o

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  8. But this is one aspect that I cannot tolerate: Girls who use the excuse- "Because I'm a girl, and you're a guy, so you pay." or simply, "Because I'm your gf."

    so why do you even let your boyfriend pay for 95% of the expenses anyway? kinda hypocritical don't you think?

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  9. Simple.

    Because he voluntarily wants to, and because I cannot afford to pay for everything 100% :)

    Would you let your gf pay for every single thing when you can afford it better?

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  10. exactly my point. the ONLY reason he is volunteering to pay is because you are his gf.

    so technically, you are using the excuse, "Because I'm your gf."

    and really, there is no other reason for guys to pay for girls besides those two reasons.

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  11. Not really. There are many guys out there who voluntarily pay for girls who are not their gfs too!

    What I meant when I said,

    "Girls who use the excuse- "Because I'm a girl, and you're a guy, so you pay." or simply, "Because I'm your gf."

    was the extreme circumstances when even their basic necessities and wants have to be paid by their bfs, anything and everything. I hope you're getting where I'm coming from :)

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  12. Hi Carren,

    U r so gorgeous, love ur words too! I love your eye make up, so well presented, any tips for that? =)
    Have a great day!

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  13. Ah sh*t, I'm getting a Boyfriend allowance...

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  14. I've heard of girls getting an allowance from their bf, but I didn't think it was THAT common. I find it sad.

    BUt anywho I love this blogpost! You chose your words very well:)

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  15. I am all for a girlfriend allowance. My reasons are simple. My boyfriend likes me to look a certain way, he likes my feet and nails done nice, he likes to make sure I am groomed, waxed and stress free. He feels he reeps great benefits for making sure these beauty items get done on a regular basis. It makes me feel sexy and he thinks it is sexy too. He also knows I cannot afford to do these items on my own. Pedicures, manicures, eyebrow, brazilan waxing, massages, they all add up fanatically. He does not give the money directly to me. The spa i go to has his credit card on file and I go in once a month to be pampered and made to feel beautiful. If he did not do this, I would never be able to afford to keep this stuff up on my own.

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